Transcendental Punctures
The no-stress response to inner tube penetration
I’ve had three rides and three punctures this week. First one I thought, “Hey its only a puncture”. Second one I began to suspect dark forces at work. The third could have tipped me over the edge, had it not caught me in such a good mood. This last puncture has made me believe that what’s happening is just my bike harmlessly discharging bad luck, in a safe and controlled way. I discovered my puncture on a day when I didn’t need to be anywhere in a hurry, so was able to fix it when I got home, sitting by the fire with a cafétiere of coffee brewing as I checked the tyre for glass. Had it happened on a rain soaked pavement, in the hand-numbing cold, at night, no doubt my Zen like belief would have been tested.
How to do it - a far from step by step guide...
I spun the wheel and eyed the tyre’s surface for debris. There, found it, snicked it out with the needlenose pliers. Next came the tyre levers – in under the bead of the tyre and hook the tyre over the rim. One, two, three levers a few spokes apart until the tyre can be eased off on one side by hand. Next the tube out, pumped up a little, slowly rotating it close to my ear – there it is, a tiny pinhole gently oozing air. Rubbed down the tube and applied the glue – time for a coffee. Came back when the glue had dulled from gloss to matt. Selected the right patch, smallest one that’ll work’s normally best. Snugged it down with the thumb and carefully peeled back the backing paper, like an artist applying gold leaf – to reveal the feather edge patch, blending into the tube – seamless. Now my favourite bit, grate the chalk over the patch and dust it off - all the extra glue around the patch soaked up – no tyre sticking to tube. Done, back in the bag ready for the next ‘disaster’.
In the right circumstances, fixing a puncture can be a moment of artisan therapy – akin to rolling a cigarette, whittling or mending a cuckoo clock. OK, I’ve stretched the point slightly. But there’s an innate pleasure to be gained from the process – making anew, rendering the knackered usable again. If you’re a “bin it and buy a new one” person, you’re missing out (and congratulations, your obviously richer than me).